Women's Path: from PRO-Creation to CO-Creation

A women's conversation circle to explore the future of women and of the world

The video was streamed live on Jul 13, 2016It was the third conversation of WOMEN MATTERS (a project of "THE WISDOM FACTORY" with Heidi Hornlein, Gertraud Wegst, Tammy Lea Meyer and Monika Schmidt
*We come together to explore what we women, particularly, can give to the world and where we have to put our attention to become able to really do that*.
YOU can join us on camera! Contact +Adelheid Hörnlein for more information.
Enjoy the video and find below some hints of where the conversation went:

Here a rough overview of the content in Timestamps:

Timestamps Women Matters #3  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFGWfbpbYrg)

0:00 Introduction of the show and the 3

1:35 Barbara Marx Hubbart: “from procreation to co-creation”

4:40 Tammy: She always knew she wouldn’t have kids, although she considers having kids the most important job, but she knew she needed her energy to be devoted to the global transition. Investing in our collective future

6:54 Monika had children, always wanted them. You are busy to maintain the relationships with each person in the family in the same intense way - limits the number of children. Personal development of Monika accompanied the development of her children, in terms in her jobs as a teacher: from primary school to university.

9:20 The need of setting boundaries - for oneself and in education. Difference between men and women in the ability of going for their own career. A collective experience

11:38 Gertraud combines both: wanted to have children, and she worked right from the beginning when she became mother. The journey for having a better relationship and as a mother. Deep transition in herself by having children. Commitment: “Be the best parents we could be” - in constant personal development and constant contact with the children during their growing up.

18:17 feminine qualities are not only in women, also men can develop them more

20:10 Elli Drake: Men go on adrenalin, women on oxytocin = bonding and nourishing = the qualities of the feminine part. Our projects are kind of our babies. And we need to be able to receive support.

22:40 Tammy: move from competition to receiving and use our body sense to understand what to do. See the interconnection of the things, Barbara Marx Hubbart: the future as a co-creative development process: what can that look like? - we are doing it!

24:30 Tammy talks about North America, racism etc. Need to show up in a different way! We are co-creating the future, whether it is intentional or completely unconsciously.

27:10 Heidi: Set clear boundaries is a necessity: distinction between caring and overgiving and depleting oneself: Women were and somewhere still are supposed to sacrifice their life for the family

29:15 Monika:  expectation for women to be in the world - a tradition until the 1960ies. Realise now that boundaries are essential for life. The question is WHICH Boundaries and how we are setting them up- especially in education. The 4 CORNERS of the boundaries: confidence, love, consideration - within these the children should be free to grow up. Strict, strong and save boundarties

32:00 How did we manage the boundaries? Monika replies regarding education, Heidi asks for boundaries towards what we as women should be. Monika: Trust your feeelings and thoughts. Don’t make compromises, only if both can live well with it.

35:25 Tammy: Investing in people and movements. New economy and new ways of working, systems change. Value time so when investing it to be able to do it in ways to serve all. The question of the financial support for the work we are doing. Balance between giving and receiving? Transition from the dominant paradigm to the sharing and gifting way.

40:30 Working for free - the old story of women?

41:00 Gertraud: Normal way of compensation doesn’t work any more (injustice etc). Unconditional basic income? TAlking to Monika: Being honest to my values and I don’t compromise and stepping over that (instead of talking about boundaries in the sense of fences)

42:45 “The world of abundance I want to have - includes ME!” - the new feminine way is, NOT to exclude ourselves.

43:46 Tammy gives an example of small steps of self care

44:36 Love goes first towards inside. Only giving out depletes. Appreciation is the basis.

45:45 Heidi: Giving and what happens in the name of love is not really giving, but attached expectations

47:24 Tammy asks for sharing what we are CO-CREATING in our personal life

48:05 Heidi:  bringing perspectives together and open our minds: help women to become visible and to step up

49:27 Monika: collaboration in writing on education with Montessori principles. Living education for children to learn how to master their lives

51:56 Gertraud: for a long time she is in collaboration and co-creation. Business out of the appreciative inquiry. A book is being co-created just now. Unity in DIversity was a project of co-creation. RIng-coaching as a platform.

56:40 Tammy: appreciates our group: How do we bring this forth and build together the future. Document processes and document what is already happening. Finding the tools. Conversation to come to new insights of how to co-create the future together.

1:01  doing the jump! Please join the blog: “Women - share your Wisdom” http://wisdomfactorywomen.blogspot.it/

Why do we need empowerment?

In our last conversation on Hangouts - posted in a previous post - we were asking the question: How can we empower ourselves and others?

Traditional women's area: take care for everything and everybody
and be silent

First of all, why would we NEED Empowerment? What does it mean? Does it mean that we take on - or over - power? That's what some people think, as the comment in our show, a man, expressing his dislike of "power". Does he think about a person having power over others by forcing them to do things they don't like to do? Well, that seems to be the "normal" thought which comes up when we hear the word "power". It includes that POWER is equal to NEGATIVE in a moral perspective - which seems to be adopted when we reject "power" all together.

In English "power" means also "electricity". Is it good or bad? Obviously this is not a criteria here, because the power lies in enabling things to happen. My hairdryer wouldn't work without power and my hair keeps wet for a long time without it. But I can use the power - in this case the external power of electricity - to dry it quickly.  

The POWER of men-leaders which we don't want any more

When we talk about empowerment we mean to unleash the force inside of us which is able to quickly move us towards our goals, like electricity dries my hair quicker than just waiting for it to dry. That means that we have - or adopt - the power for doing certain things. It is not about suppressing others. 

Actually, for far too long we have suppressed the free flow of our personal power singing in unison with the demands and commands of society which didn't want us women to be powerful beings. The creative power of women was a threat to men who used their physical power to keep us quiet. When physical power - the "power over" was the means of structuring society, women had to develop subtle power to meet men. And this power, seduction, manipulation, false stories etc. were the female counterpart of "power over", which means the power to suppress and dominate others.

Speaking of "empowerment" we are talking about a completely different thing. We want to be powerful women for our ability to cause things which are good, true and beautiful. We want to regain our creativity and intuition as powerful means of knowing and making decisions, including our intellectual abilities, of course, but not prioritizing them, as we were asked to do while growing up.

Empowerment begins right in the moment when we begin to realize that we are not victims, neither of men, nor of life, nor of our genes, our education or whatsoever. 

"I CAN" is the magic formula. Even if I don't know HOW, I can LEARN what I need to do what I want to do and to be how I want to be.

Today we have all information we need to go towards our goals, much of it even for free. That was much different in the past, but today this cannot hinder us to go ahead. So why don't we step into our power, fully and with confidence? Why don't we show up and bring our message out when we feel the urge to do it? What is still stopping us?

The answer is: our inner conditioning which is still operating, at least partly, and doesn't allow us to participate fully in the world. ( read also: http://wakeupshowup.blogspot.it/)

Women empowerment retreat at Paradiso Integrale

To overcome these conditionings we need courage to learn to see clearly who we are - instead of maintaining our illusion of being xyz. Without shame or blame we need to recognize where we are on the path which leads us to ever the same responses, and we need to step up, take a stand and go all the way to learn the things needed to fulfill our mission.

And for this we need EMPOWERMENT, by our own insights and thoughts, but also by others. We need a support group, friends or strangers, united by the desire to help each other. And who is fortunate has also a spouse who empowers her instead of dimming down. (watch what Gertraud shared in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GatXp460v0w)

WOMEN MATTERS

Uncovering unconscious barriers in women’s participation in the world 

Live conversation on June 8. 2016 on Google Hangouts (in English)

with Heidi Hornlein, Gertraud Wegst,

 and Tammy Lea Meyer

 We are starting a new thread in +The Wisdom Factory called WOMEN MATTERS. We are coming together to explore our present, past and future as women in the world. We are especially interested in the development of women in our western culture which has seen the women's liberation movement more than half a century ago. Where are we women today? What has changed since then and what is still holding us back?

This is the topic of our first conversation in WOMEN MATTERS. Despite of what we have reached: why are there still a significant bigger number of men in leading positions? In conferences, in big organisations, in politics, economy, everywhere?
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Join us in the conversation live or leave your comments when you watch later. Subscribe to our newsletter at www.TheWisdomFactory.deand contact us directly if you want to be an active part of the conversation live and on camera.
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PS: in case you are camera shy: contact Heidi via LinkedInhttps://it.linkedin.com/in/adelheidhornlein/en and check out how she can help you with this issue!
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About Tammy Lee Meyer

Tammy was born, works and lives on unceded Coast Salish territory, in a community home in South Vancouver, Canada. A media experimentalist, social change agent and systems thinker, Tammy is passionate about democracy, the development of a people-centred economy, and supporting the emergent shift of social and economic systems. Tammy believes that through collaboration and conversation, we can knit together the initiatives that already exist to design a deeply integrated commons. Tammy is passionate about holding space and fostering the voices of community members to share their concerns, their hopes, and their ideas for a more just and sustainable world.
You can check out her work on Medium and youtube.

About Heidi+Adelheid Hörnlein

A native German and living in Italy for the past 30 years. I have an MA in communication science, was a professional singer, voice teacher, voice therapist before I was licensed in Gestalt Counseling and Transformative Coaching (Approach: ‘Feminine Power’ and related). I am also licensed as transformative leader. I am holding seminars and courses, live and online. My passion is 1:1 coaching for whatever difficulties people encounter in life, especially regarding relationships, but not only. AND I am passionate in doing live events like this one and HELP OTHERS TO BE CONFIDENT AND SHOW UP in public to bring their message into the world.

About +Gertraud Wegst

Gertraud was born as the middle one of 7 children in Germany though her heart swims in international waters. Master coach, trainer and change midwife with experience in the mission of being source of apprecitation for people and organizations she believes that the people's past and present are rich with positive experiences and insights and can be an infinite source for development, performance and success, if they are listened to carefully and with appreciation. Supporting this process with her colleagues of The Appreciators in personal and group coaching and training for leaders and in companies and with various co-operations in networks, communities of practice up to the Unity in Diversity Appreciative Inquiry process for midwifing a system of influence that nurtures celebrates, and energizes work that mattters and elnivens makes her heart sing.
http://www.theappreciators.com/article/gertraud-wegst

Show less

WOMEN MATTERS

How do we empower ourselves and each other?

Live conversation on June 22. 2016 on Google Hangouts (in English)

with Heidi Hornlein, Gertraud Wegst,

Monika Schmidt and Tammy Lea Meyer

This is the second conversation of WOMEN MATTERS, new project of +The Wisdom Factory where we come together to explore what we women, particularly, can give to the world and where we have to put our attention to become able to really do that.
Our core team:
+Tammy Lea Meyer +Gertraud Wegst +Adelheid Hörnlein +Monika Schmidt
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Please leave your comments on Youtube or here below

. Subscribe to our newsletter at www.TheWisdomFactory.de and contact us directly if you want to be an active part of the conversation live and on camera.
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PS: in case you are camera shy: contact Heidi via LinkedIn https://it.linkedin.com/in/adelheidhornlein/en and check out how she can help you with this issue!
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About +Gertraud Wegst

Gertraud was born as the middle one of 7 children in Germany though her heart swims in international waters. Master coach, trainer and change midwife with experience in the mission of being source of apprecitation for people and organizations she believes that the people's past and present are rich with positive experiences and insights and can be an infinite source for development, performance and success, if they are listened to carefully and with appreciation. Supporting this process with her colleagues of The Appreciators in personal and group coaching and training for leaders and in companies and with various co-operations in networks, communities of practice up to the Unity in Diversity Appreciative Inquiry process for midwifing a system of influence that nurtures celebrates, and energizes work that mattters and elnivens makes her heart sing.
http://www.theappreciators.com/article/gertraud-wegst

About +Monika Schmidt

Monika is a native Bavarian and grew up as the youngest of three. As a mother of two, she went through the wide range of educational everyday experience throughout thirty years. In her professional life she is engaged with all levels of school education up to university as well as in coaching and consulting with all, students teachers and parents. Monika started her "life in social media" in early days of Facebook, but turned out as an evangelist with Google and Google+.
A huge caesure in her life was to be diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago. Like an earthquake, nothing looked like it was before. She is trying to verify the basic believes she held. Now she tracing the changes about what it means. The "role" of being a women-wife-mother-individual has changed several times in her life and is still being created new, every day. Glad to be here!

About +Tammy Lea Meyer

Tammy was born, works and lives on unceded Coast Salish territory, in a community home in South Vancouver, Canada. A media experimentalist, social change agent and systems thinker, Tammy is passionate about democracy, the development of a people-centred economy, and supporting the emergent shift of social and economic systems. Tammy believes that through collaboration and conversation, we can knit together the initiatives that already exist to design a deeply integrated commons. Tammy is passionate about holding space and fostering the voices of community members to share their concerns, their hopes, and their ideas for a more just and sustainable world.

You can check out her work on Medium and youtube.

About Heidi +Adelheid Hörnlein

A native German and living in Italy for the past 30 years. I have an MA in communication science, was a professional singer, voice teacher, voice therapist before I was licensed in Gestalt Counseling and Transformative Coaching (Approach: ‘Feminine Power’ and related). I am also licensed as transformative leader. I am holding seminars and courses, live and online. My passion is 1:1 coaching for whatever difficulties people encounter in life, especially regarding relationships, but not only. AND I am passionate in doing live events like this one and HELP OTHERS TO BE CONFIDENT AND SHOW UP in public to bring their message into the world. 

Uncovering unconscious barriers in women’s participation in the world

Well, this blog was created to bring into German language what I have learned participating in courses offered exclusively in English. Seems that English is the language where things proceed and where people join and so I decided to switch to English as main language.

Watch the video below: 2 German and one Canadian woman discussing the topic:

Heidi Hornlein, Gertraud Wegst and Tammy Lea Meyer

Context: 6 years ago I came into contact with the Feminine Power Teaching - which gave rise to this blog. I certainly have implemented it into my life and have helped others to do so. I myself have learnt to deal with INVISIBILITY by creating public conversations and by appearing as contributor on national and international conferences. Many women are in the audience - but where are they as leaders, public speakers and so on? There are some, yes, but there are still many many more men stepping up before women do so.

It is not that men hinder us to step up and share what we want to share. It is ourselves. Where are the barriers? what can we do to finally overcome them?

THE WISDOM FACTORY offers inside the project WOMEN MATTERS, a series of live conversations with women who are stepping up and want to inspire others to do so, too. And we offer them the possibility to be taken by their hands and helped into overcoming the obstacles which hold them back from offering their gifts and contributions to a wider circle. 

If you are interested to watch the next conversation or to contribute to it, please contact me via this blog or www.TheWisdomFactory.de

What about your Relationships?

What about your Relationships?

Did you make your New Year Resolutions? - And were your relationships on that list? Your relationships with friends, colleagues - and especially with partners or spouses?

If not, don’t waste your time reading further - but if you ever have dreamt about being in an intimate (or work) relationship which is incredibly different from what you have known so far - then PLEASE CONTINUE to read here.

The aim of this article is to show you some relationship dynamics which are detrimental to those connections and to bring you some GOOD NEWS: there are ways to get out of all that crap and to create relationships beyond your wildest dreams.

The destiny of every relationship can largely be predicted right from the beginning. Normally, we think, love and good will in personal relationships are enough (or accordingly in work relationships good will, engagement and professional ability).

And then you certainly have had the experience already that despite all the good will, despite the love or respect you had towards the other, things didn’t work out. You needed to adjust your expectations or you needed to leave - and you hoped that, next time, everything would work out perfectly. But if we are  proceeding from the “same old, same old” perspective, when we do the exact same things - or try to do the direct opposite - most likely our new relationship attempts will end up in a very similar place.

So what is missing? What is it that we don’t see when engaging in important relationships?

Happy Beginning

As I said above: it begins right at the beginning. Sounds logical, but normally we overlook the very first step of choosing the right people to enter into relationship with. Falling madly in love normally obscures the clarity of our perception, and so does ignited enthusiasm about a new work relationship. What we normally don’t do well enough is a profound reality check concerning the value systems in which we and the others operate. If they are compatible then the relationship has a good chance to grow and prosper - and if the values are incompatible, if we are on different “wavelengths” or “levels of development” while believing that we are on the same - well, the disappointments are inevitable and around the corner - even if the attraction or the love are present and strong.

When we believe we could change the other person, that they would learn and grow up to the level of the understanding which we ourselves have - the next step to disaster is unfolding. If they are willing to do the work by their own insight and decision, well, there is a chance. But better never ask somebody to do something for YOU against their own will and inclination. Sooner or later you will pay badly for that, in love as well as in the work space. It is no secret that pressure - even if it is almost imperceptible - creates counter pressure or resistance, which in turn creates all sorts of negative outcomes, sooner or later.

And now we arrive at the GOOD NEWS. In the last few decades many studies have been done and many experiments executed so that we know a lot more about the human psyche, about relationship dynamics, about workspace organisation and efficiency, about our unconscious conditioning and about how to transform all that for the better. There are many, many teachers out there who transmit important pieces of the pie while pretending to know it all and cover everything.

And there are those who have an integral understanding about what they are doing and therefore are able to teach you their important piece in a honest and congruent way, expressing fully their expertise in their fields without pretending to sell you the eternal and complete solution. They encourage you to go on the exploratory journey yourself, holding your hand, while you find your own authentic way of relating and co-creating your relationships.

We have invited some outstanding experts in relationships from that latter group for our 3rd season of The Wisdom Factory who will introduce you more in depth into the most important aspects of relationships.

Find out more about the interview series at bit.ly/wisdomfactory

Book cover: "Calling in the One" by Katherine Woodward Thomas who will participate and present her latest book "Conscious Uncoupling"

"Happy Beginning" Designed by Freepik

Welcome to Sing Like A Lark with Kate Barbour

Hi Folks!

If you like music and enjoy singing - even more so if you think you can't sing - you certainly must watch this video by Kate.

She will be with Heidi on a Hangout on Air on Thursday April 3 at 3pm CET

A new episode of our Paradise Talks

Tomorrow, March 18th at 5.30 pm European time:

Mark interviews Alan Hickman.

He is work and life partner of Jan Stringer who has written the outstanding book: “attracting perfect customers; the power of strategic synchronicity”
The principles of this book he and Jan are also applying to attract the perfect mate.

Listen here: to know about the life path of a very interesting man which was deeply imprinted by his spiritual journey.

ENJOY!

What is the EGO and how can we manage it

In this talk with Margherita she gives us her view of Ego, how it appears in our life and how we can handle it. Healing is an important step for not allowing the Ego to exclusively run the show of our life. Normally the view on the Ego  is quite narrow and even negative. We are taking a much broader view on the Ego in this exploration.

on *Intimacy*

Relationships and intimacy: not only Mark and I are talking about it. In this Interview inside of Tee MIng's "Splendid Life Show" her guest is talking about the importance to bring our knowledge into an embodied experience so that it can really change our lives and our relationships - not only with partners, also with children.

Our upcoming Retreat will give you the opportunity for embodiment, for experience in "real life"

Finde Deine authentische Stimme in Deinen Beziehungen

Finde Deine authentische Stimme in Deinen Beziehungen RETREAT FÜR FRAUEN UND MÄNNER IM EVOLUTIONÄREN KONTEXT Mit Adelheid Hörnlein, Mark Davenport and Elena Urbanovsky Ziele Praktische Wege zu einer Integralen Partnerschaft Das Leben in einer Beziehung ist bestimmt durch das vorherrschende Meme in der Gesellschaft. Wir leben in einer Zeit, in der die alten Modelle ausgedient haben. Wir haben wenige Beispiele, wie eine Erfüllung in Authentizität in einer Partnerschaft  möglich sein kann. Wir wollen die Lücke schließen zwischen unserem theoretischen Wissen über „Integral“ und unserer persönlichen Realität und uns als Pioniere sehen, die Spuren legen für „integrale Beziehungen“ im 21. Jahrhundert. Inhalt: ·       Spotlight-Vorträge und Diskussionen über Beziehungsmodelle, Probleme und Wege heraus ·       Meine Interaktion mit der Welt: Die persönliche authentische Stimme entfalten – physisch und übertragen. ·        Übungen zu Perspektivwechsel auf allen Ebenen (Denken, Fühlen, Wahrnehmen, Tun) ·        Erprobung neuer Fähigkeiten zum In-Beziehung-Treten und in-Beziehung-Sein ·       Partnerschafts-Rituale: wie pflege ich meine Beziehung? ·       Und vieles mehr (u.a. ein Ausflug in Bella Umbria) Methodik Eine Integration von Integraler Theorie, Psychologie und Spiritualität: Voice Dialog, Gestalt, Enneagramm, NLP, Achtsamkeit, meditativen Prozessen. Psychodrama, Tools aus dem transformativem Coaching, speziell „Feminine Power– Die Kraft des Bezogenseins“ Zielgruppe Frauen and Männer  aller Altersstufen mit dem dringenden Wunsch, sich selber und andere besser verstehen zu lernen und gute Beziehungen zu knüpfen und/oder bestehende Beziehungen zu verbessern. Frauen und Männer, die eine sichere Umgebung suchen, in der sie Neues ausprobieren können Das Retreat ist zweisprachig: Deutsch und Englisch siehe auch  ThePowerOfRelationship.com Retreatleitung Adelheid (Heidi) Hörnlein,  Wilber Fan seit 1997, bringt die integrale Vison in ihr Privatleben, Retreatcenter, und in ihren Beruf, als „Integrale Stimmtrainerin“ und als transformativer Beziehungs-Coach. Sie arbeitet via skype/hangout oder im persönlichen setting. (siehe: integral-voice.de und thePowerofRelationship.com) Magister Artium  in Kommunikationswissenschaft,  Diplom in Gestalt--Counselling, Zertifizierungen in NLP, Spiral Dynamics, Transformational Leadership, Transformatives Coaching (in 3 Ausrichtungen), Musiktherapie. SAT: 5-Jahreskurs zum Psychologischen Enneagram Mark Davenport,  im integralen Denken seit etwa 10 Jahren, arbeitet als counselor und Coach für Menschen in Übergangssituationen. Er möchte speziell Männern Führung anbieten auf ihrem Weg zu einem neuen Selbstverständnis und höher entwickleten Identität in ihrem Tun und Sein, speziell in ihren Beziehungen zu ihren Partnerinnen und in ihrem Sexualitätsverständnis. MA in Italienischer Literatur,  Arbeitete als Lehrer, später als counselor, speziell für Drogenprobleme, bevor er Ken’s Werk begegnete. Seither fokusiertere Ausrichtung auf die „Evolution des Bewusstseins“ als persönlicher Entwicklungsweg und in der Counselingarbeit. Sein besonderes Anliegen ist es, Männer aufzuwecken und ihnen in ihrer Entwicklung zur Seite zu stehen.ehen Elena Urbanovsky,  Ausbildung als Lehrerin und Schauspielerin. Das Leben brachte sie in viele Europäische Länder und zu vielen Erfahrungen, die sie mit der „integralen Landkarte“ heute verstehen und integrieren kann. Ihr Focus liegt auf Frauen, sie begleitet sie in Krisensituationen, in ihren Wachstumsprozessen und in ihrem Erwachen zur nächsten Entwicklungsstufe, was vor allem in osteuropäischen Ländern ein schmerzvolles und einsames Unterfangen ist. Sie hat reiche Erfahrung in der Leitung von Live-Workshops zum psycho-spirituellen Wachstum. Ganz frisch zurück in Deutschland beginnt sie, neue Wege zu gehen, nicht nur beruflich, sondern auch in der Frage: wie können Kinder wirklich gedeihen, selbst wenn sich die Eltern trennen? Anmeldung: Formlose email an info@thepowerofrelationship.com oder Anmeldebogen runterladen,  ausfüllen und mailen

Living YOUR Authentic Voice in Relationships - In Paradiso Integrale by...

THIS IS WHY YOU WOULD LOVE TO JOIN OUR SPRING RETREAT

APRIL 30 TO MAY 4 IN PARADISO INTEGRALE / ITALY

MY first attempt to work with screenflow - it was great fun to find out what is possible - the prefection will take a while....

What does burning your boat mean to you? by Heidi Hornlein

What does burning your boat mean? -- An example:

When your boat lands at an unknown shore and you burn that boat you’re making sure that you cannot choose  to sail back. You can only go forward and explore this new land.

In my life I have burnt a few boats, some unwillingly, but some consciously.  Today I will tell you about a time when I consciously took on that risk, knowing that I would have to undergo an uncomfortable period  – while also knowing, deep in my heart, that I would be able to find my way through it, that this difficult time would be transitory and not my final destiny.

In my house in Umbria, I lived with an Italian man. We were not married because he, as a “good Italian” had not divorced his first wife.  So, though separated for several years, he remained unwilling to ever divorce – which, in fact, he never did. He provided the money so that I could enjoy exploring farming and immersing myself deeply in nature. A very tiring but exciting time where I learned a lot about plants and animals – and along with that also a good deal about humans - and I began to understand the laws of nature in an intuitive way. But I didn’t earn money, except for the few eggs and chickens I sold, and I became ever more aware that I needed to take care of myself, to make sure that the money I had invested in our house wouldn’t be lost and that I would have a pension of my own – despite his reassurance that in case of his death I would get his pension. I doubted it – and in fact did die a short time ago and his pension does go to his first and only wife and not to his last mate.

I hadn’t been able then to talk with him clearly about my fears, about my need for safety. So what did I do? I fell in love with a younger man which sent my companion into a Mediterranean wrath, leaving me and trying to kick me out of the house. I didn’t leave as had been bought partly with my own money. Finally it was he who left me with a house to stay in, a freezer full of food, the vegetable garden in bloom, and a car - but with no money at all to buy gasoline!

What to do now? My mother lent me some money and I brainstormed what I could do to get some more: painting flats, translating, or – voice lessons!

Bam. That was it. In a few years I went from 1 initial student to about 30, from working with one choir to five choirs. I really got on well and I understood how brilliant I was as a voice teacher – which I never would have discovered if I had stayed with that man and lived off his money.

I burnt my boat again when I stopped leading the choir at the German Church in Rome. I feared that few students would find their way to work with me and that I would not be able to survive. All the old fears popped up again.

In fact, it did happen as I had feared, but it didn’t bother me much. I trusted deeply in myself that things would work out well. And I also realized that working with people in the way I had for the last twenty years was no longer igniting me as it once had when I had been driven by passion to find out how VOICE works.

That decision to stop teaching set me free for other things, enabling me to pursue training in counseling and coaching, into my deep interest in healing relationships - and in healing my own old patterns and conditionings.

In time, I got a small inheritance after my mothers death which allowed me not to be concerned if I earned any additional income. So not only did I survive but I really began to thrive – and I still do! I don’t yet have a reasonable income, but the fears about that are gone and I trust deeply that I am on the right path, that I will earn a living now doing the things I really feel called to bring into the world: love, relationships, our authentic voice in the world, our evolving growth into higher levels of consciousness.

Great News

This is a teaser only.
So watch this space! 


GREAT NEWS! 


Paradiso Integrale's annual springtime retreat is OPEN TO MEN this year! 

Yes! We're expanding our circle to include men, whether singly or as part of a couple.
 Of course, women are welcome on the same basis.

More info will dribble out soon.

The Quest for Perfection by Heidi Hörnlein

HAVE NO FEAR OF PERFECTION - YOU NEVER REACH IT (Salvator Dalì)

History tells us that humans have always searched for perfection in their doing, thinking and being. Perfection is an ideal in our heads , where we want to arrive, sooner or later. But nobody really can define and know what “perfection” really is.

To me it seems that perfection is mainly seen as something we SHOULD go towards or be already AT, and it is mainly characterized by the fact that we miss it, that we are NOT there – whatever THERE means.

Nowadays people make a distinction between the physical world, where perfection is simply impossible because we are living in an ever evolving universe where nothing comes to a final conclusion. Then there is the spiritual world which claims that “everything is perfect just as it is”. Wow. Yes, in God’s eye the world and the Universe might be a perfect place and our enlightenment experiences FEEL perfect, give us the insight into an infinite abundance where nothing is missing – since everything is “perfect”.

Using this spiritual idea of “Perfect” in our human life is not really very useful – and leads us into “perfectionism”, a psychologically very unhealthy way of living. Most of us are caught in that, more or less, and thus we, not the world or other people, often drive ourselves crazy!

Perfectionism is the endless striving of people to become better and better - and eventually perfect. Only the goal of being perfect is important – for instance: never make any mistake, be the best of a group, never be affected by a difficult situation, always be in ‘perfect’ control of oneself. Whatever we have already achieved in life is NOT important, because it is not yet perfect. So we need to dismiss it and blame ourselves because, after such a lengthy endeavor, we are still NOT PERFECT. Life becomes a hustle, a race filled with disappointment, pain, sadness. No fun allowed, as long as perfection is not reached. We live in a constant expectation of the future and what it will bring to us – but what it never will, as perfection just is not possible -, and we completely forget to LIVE our lives, right now in the present.

To be able to live fully we would need to give up perfectionism. This idea is threatening to many people because they fear they might simply disappear or dissolve when there is no constant pusher behind them, no blamer and shamer to keep them on track. Habitual perfectionists like myself fear to lose control over our lives, to weaken and die because we wouldn’t do anything any more without this demand for being perfect.

Now, what I can tell you is: we don’t perish and die! When we have given up wanting to be perfect, we become human, fully human, and we get the precious possibility of opening again to life, to feeling, to curiosity, to the fullness of experience. We might no longer do the things we had done before, that is true. But we do the things we really like to do – and do them with a never ending energy and enthusiasm which we had never known before. We open up to our innate creativity and intelligence, we change completely our way seeing our lives and the world. We welcome errors and failure because they alone allow us to learn. Now we really have the chance to become ‘better’, as this is the natural way of evolution. And we live an openhearted life of satisfaction, fullness and acceptance.

DON'T CONFUSE EXCELLENCE WITH PERFECTION