What does burning your boat mean? -- An example:
When your boat lands at an unknown shore and you burn that boat you’re making sure that you cannot choose to sail back. You can only go forward and explore this new land.
In my life I have burnt a few boats, some unwillingly, but some consciously. Today I will tell you about a time when I consciously took on that risk, knowing that I would have to undergo an uncomfortable period – while also knowing, deep in my heart, that I would be able to find my way through it, that this difficult time would be transitory and not my final destiny.
In my house in Umbria, I lived with an Italian man. We were not married because he, as a “good Italian” had not divorced his first wife. So, though separated for several years, he remained unwilling to ever divorce – which, in fact, he never did. He provided the money so that I could enjoy exploring farming and immersing myself deeply in nature. A very tiring but exciting time where I learned a lot about plants and animals – and along with that also a good deal about humans - and I began to understand the laws of nature in an intuitive way. But I didn’t earn money, except for the few eggs and chickens I sold, and I became ever more aware that I needed to take care of myself, to make sure that the money I had invested in our house wouldn’t be lost and that I would have a pension of my own – despite his reassurance that in case of his death I would get his pension. I doubted it – and in fact did die a short time ago and his pension does go to his first and only wife and not to his last mate.
I hadn’t been able then to talk with him clearly about my fears, about my need for safety. So what did I do? I fell in love with a younger man which sent my companion into a Mediterranean wrath, leaving me and trying to kick me out of the house. I didn’t leave as had been bought partly with my own money. Finally it was he who left me with a house to stay in, a freezer full of food, the vegetable garden in bloom, and a car - but with no money at all to buy gasoline!
What to do now? My mother lent me some money and I brainstormed what I could do to get some more: painting flats, translating, or – voice lessons!
Bam. That was it. In a few years I went from 1 initial student to about 30, from working with one choir to five choirs. I really got on well and I understood how brilliant I was as a voice teacher – which I never would have discovered if I had stayed with that man and lived off his money.
I burnt my boat again when I stopped leading the choir at the German Church in Rome. I feared that few students would find their way to work with me and that I would not be able to survive. All the old fears popped up again.
In fact, it did happen as I had feared, but it didn’t bother me much. I trusted deeply in myself that things would work out well. And I also realized that working with people in the way I had for the last twenty years was no longer igniting me as it once had when I had been driven by passion to find out how VOICE works.
That decision to stop teaching set me free for other things, enabling me to pursue training in counseling and coaching, into my deep interest in healing relationships - and in healing my own old patterns and conditionings.
In time, I got a small inheritance after my mothers death which allowed me not to be concerned if I earned any additional income. So not only did I survive but I really began to thrive – and I still do! I don’t yet have a reasonable income, but the fears about that are gone and I trust deeply that I am on the right path, that I will earn a living now doing the things I really feel called to bring into the world: love, relationships, our authentic voice in the world, our evolving growth into higher levels of consciousness.
