What about your Relationships?

What about your Relationships?

Did you make your New Year Resolutions? - And were your relationships on that list? Your relationships with friends, colleagues - and especially with partners or spouses?

If not, don’t waste your time reading further - but if you ever have dreamt about being in an intimate (or work) relationship which is incredibly different from what you have known so far - then PLEASE CONTINUE to read here.

The aim of this article is to show you some relationship dynamics which are detrimental to those connections and to bring you some GOOD NEWS: there are ways to get out of all that crap and to create relationships beyond your wildest dreams.

The destiny of every relationship can largely be predicted right from the beginning. Normally, we think, love and good will in personal relationships are enough (or accordingly in work relationships good will, engagement and professional ability).

And then you certainly have had the experience already that despite all the good will, despite the love or respect you had towards the other, things didn’t work out. You needed to adjust your expectations or you needed to leave - and you hoped that, next time, everything would work out perfectly. But if we are  proceeding from the “same old, same old” perspective, when we do the exact same things - or try to do the direct opposite - most likely our new relationship attempts will end up in a very similar place.

So what is missing? What is it that we don’t see when engaging in important relationships?

Happy Beginning

As I said above: it begins right at the beginning. Sounds logical, but normally we overlook the very first step of choosing the right people to enter into relationship with. Falling madly in love normally obscures the clarity of our perception, and so does ignited enthusiasm about a new work relationship. What we normally don’t do well enough is a profound reality check concerning the value systems in which we and the others operate. If they are compatible then the relationship has a good chance to grow and prosper - and if the values are incompatible, if we are on different “wavelengths” or “levels of development” while believing that we are on the same - well, the disappointments are inevitable and around the corner - even if the attraction or the love are present and strong.

When we believe we could change the other person, that they would learn and grow up to the level of the understanding which we ourselves have - the next step to disaster is unfolding. If they are willing to do the work by their own insight and decision, well, there is a chance. But better never ask somebody to do something for YOU against their own will and inclination. Sooner or later you will pay badly for that, in love as well as in the work space. It is no secret that pressure - even if it is almost imperceptible - creates counter pressure or resistance, which in turn creates all sorts of negative outcomes, sooner or later.

And now we arrive at the GOOD NEWS. In the last few decades many studies have been done and many experiments executed so that we know a lot more about the human psyche, about relationship dynamics, about workspace organisation and efficiency, about our unconscious conditioning and about how to transform all that for the better. There are many, many teachers out there who transmit important pieces of the pie while pretending to know it all and cover everything.

And there are those who have an integral understanding about what they are doing and therefore are able to teach you their important piece in a honest and congruent way, expressing fully their expertise in their fields without pretending to sell you the eternal and complete solution. They encourage you to go on the exploratory journey yourself, holding your hand, while you find your own authentic way of relating and co-creating your relationships.

We have invited some outstanding experts in relationships from that latter group for our 3rd season of The Wisdom Factory who will introduce you more in depth into the most important aspects of relationships.

Find out more about the interview series at bit.ly/wisdomfactory

Book cover: "Calling in the One" by Katherine Woodward Thomas who will participate and present her latest book "Conscious Uncoupling"

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